He decided to walk one kilometre every morning. Day one, he started with great enthusiasm. Day two, a little more tired. Day three, it was raining, and he told himself: “Not today, tomorrow.” Day four, he had already forgotten about the walk. Three months later, he said to himself: “I have no willpower. It’s always been this way.” But his uncle, who was a physical education student, told him: “Reza, willpower is like a muscle. If you use it every day, it gets stronger. If not, it weakens. On the third day when it was raining, you could have taken an umbrella and gone. But you said ‘tomorrow.’ That was a mistake, not a lack of willpower.” The next day, Reza went out in the rain with an umbrella. He walked one kilometre slowly. The next day, again. After a month, walking had become a habit for him.
After learning the techniques for building and reinforcing habits, we reach the most important part: how do we sustain positive habits? Building a positive habit is an important step toward improving the quality of life. However, creating a habit is only part of the journey. Sustaining this habit and maintaining it over time requires two inner resources: **willpower** and **patience**. Without these, even the best habits may fade over time. Reza, the hero of our story, considered himself a “weak-willed” person, when in fact he had only faced a small obstacle (rain) and didn’t know the alternative strategy.
Willpower is our ability to resist temptations, control impulses, and do what matters to us, even when it’s not pleasurable. The traditional approach views willpower as a limited resource that gets depleted with constant use [18]. This theory, known as “ego depletion,” states that willpower is like a muscle that gets tired after use. However, more recent research shows that although willpower is a limited resource, it can be strengthened and its capacity increased.
There are various ways to strengthen willpower: adequate sleep (lack of sleep depletes willpower), healthy nutrition (poor diet leads to blood sugar drops and reduced energy), stress management (stress is one of the greatest enemies of willpower), and regular exercise (which increases energy levels and improves mood) [19]. Just as our body grows stronger with training, our willpower is also strengthened through practice and care. Martin Seligman believes that “willpower is like a muscle; the more we use it, the stronger it becomes, provided we give it adequate rest” [18].
Alongside willpower, patience plays a vital role. Patience is our ability to endure hardships, delays, and frustrations on the path to our goals. Angela Duckworth, in her book *Grit*, speaks of “grit” instead of patience, defining it as a combination of “sustained passion” and “perseverance in the face of difficulties” [16]. Her research shows that grit is a stronger predictor of long‑term success than talent or even IQ. In cultures rich in ethics, patience has been emphasised as one of the most important virtues. Master Motahhari, in *Man and Faith*, calls patience “the power to stand firm against difficulties” and “the key to victory in the arenas of life” [20].
Willpower and patience are complementary traits that are closely intertwined. Willpower helps us make the right decisions and honour our commitments in difficult moments. Patience helps us continue our efforts in the long run and avoid despair. When our willpower is depleted, patience helps us resist temptations and keep going. And when our patience wears thin, willpower helps us make the right decisions in tough moments. Together, like two wings, they carry us forward on the path of lasting change. Reza, by deciding to walk in the rain (willpower) and continuing in the following days (patience), was able to sustain his new habit.
To strengthen willpower and patience, there are several practical strategies:
– Setting realistic goals prevents frustration and discouragement. Small, achievable goals maintain motivation.
– Breaking large goals into smaller ones makes the path clear and progress measurable.
– Celebrating successes, even small ones, gives us energy and makes the journey enjoyable.
– Learning from failures – seeing them as opportunities for growth, not as the end of the road.
– Seeking social support from family, friends, and colleagues, which can help when facing challenges and obstacles [21].
– Practising gratitude helps us focus on the positive aspects of life and avoid despair.
– Prayer and supplication give us peace and reassurance, helping us trust in a higher power on the path to our goals.
By strengthening willpower and patience, we can internalise positive habits and enjoy a meaningful, satisfying, and fruitful life. This path, though difficult, rewards us with freedom from the chains of negative habits and the achievement of personal excellence. We must remember that changing a habit is a marathon, not a sprint. And in this marathon, willpower and patience are our two faithful companions.
Core exercise of this subchapter:
This week, do this exercise every morning and night:
**Morning (3 minutes):** Write one sentence: “Today, in [specific situation], instead of my usual reaction, I will exercise willpower to do [new behaviour].” Example: “Today, when I feel tired and want to watch TV, I will exercise willpower to walk for 10 minutes.”
**Night (3 minutes):** Write: “Today, at what moment was my willpower strong, and at what moment was it weak? What helped me resist?”
At the end of the week, review. Did your willpower grow stronger during the week? What factors weakened it, and what factors strengthened it?
Sensory exercise: Standing in an uncomfortable posture for 3 minutes
Choose an uncomfortable but safe physical posture (e.g., standing on one leg, or holding your arms up for 3 minutes). Do it. While doing it, pay attention to your inner voice: “How long has it been?”, “It’s pointless”, “I’m tired.” After 3 minutes, write: “What feeling did the voice that wanted me to give up give me? How is this feeling similar to the moments when I want to abandon a positive habit? What did I need in order to continue?”
For those in a hurry:
Three immediate steps to strengthen willpower and patience:
1. **See willpower as a muscle:** Start with a small challenge every day and gradually increase it.
2. **Have a daily mantra for patience:** “One small step every day.”
3. **Learn from failures:** Whenever you stray off course, instead of blaming yourself, ask, “What can I learn from this mistake?” and start the next day with more energy.
For those who want to go deeper:
– Seligman, Martin. (2016). *Positive Psychology* (Persian translation by Ali‑Akbar Seif). Dowran Publications. (Chapter 8: Willpower and Self‑control)
– Duckworth, Angela. (2016). *Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance* (Persian translation by Kaveh Mirabbasi, 2017). Ariana Publications. (Chapters 4 & 5)
– Motahhari, Morteza. (2006). *Man and Faith*. Sadra Publications. (Discussion on patience and perseverance)
