He had just finalized a billion‑rial contract. That night, he was having dinner at a restaurant with his colleagues. Everyone was congratulating him. Suddenly, in the middle of the laughter, his phone rang. It was his mother. She said: “My son, today is your birthday. You forgot to call me.” Reza looked at the date. She was right. He had forgotten his forty‑second birthday. That night, when he got home, he sat in the dark living room and stared at the wall. His newly bought car was parked downstairs. Fresh money in his bank account. But something inside him said: “All these years, you have only accumulated. You have left nothing of yourself.”
In today’s world, success is often measured by material criteria: a multi‑digit income, a prominent social position, a house and a top‑model car, and a pile of assets that are supposed to signify “living better.” Yet many people face this bitter paradox: despite achieving such success, they still do not feel deep and meaningful satisfaction in life. As if the more they gain, the deeper a void they feel inside.
Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, points out in his book *Flourish* that a sole focus on external success can lead to feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness [1]. This thought‑provoking finding calls us to rethink our definition of success and prosperity. This concept goes beyond material well‑being and addresses the inner quality of life.
Balance – not in the sense of ignoring the world, but in placing it in its true position and using it for growth and transcendence. Psychological research shows that people who consider their lives meaningful enjoy higher levels of satisfaction and resilience [3]. Ed Diener, a prominent happiness psychologist, concluded after decades of longitudinal studies that wealth and income explain only about 2‑3% of the variance in happiness and life satisfaction [3]. The rest is tied to something else: quality of relationships, sense of belonging, personal growth, and service to others.
The subtle point is that our inner resources – the part of our life time spent on inner growth and transcendence – are our true capital. This deep view sees time not merely as a resource for producing material wealth, but as an opportunity for spiritual growth, self‑knowledge, and service to others. A study by Todd Kashdan and colleagues on over a thousand adults showed that the sense of meaning in life is directly related to indicators of “good life” such as excitement, interest, and curiosity [5]. People who spent time each day on activities they did purely for intrinsic pleasure (not for external reward) reported significantly lower levels of depression and anxiety.
But why does society’s dominant view still focus on quantitative and external indicators? People who pay attention only to one dimension of their existence – the material dimension – and neglect other dimensions. This fundamental difference in perspective explains why someone may be very materially successful but not feel happy, or why someone with limited means may have a deeply satisfying life.
The meaning of life lies not in external objects and things themselves, but in the inner quality and the intention behind actions. Barbara Fredrickson, a leading positive psychology theorist, shows in her book *Positivity* that actions performed with “sincere intention” (done purely for their intrinsic value, not for external reward) are more durable in creating satisfaction [9]. Two people may do the same thing, but one feels satisfaction and meaning from within and the other does not. The difference lies in their intention and attitude.
To build a meaningful life, we must first establish balance. Excess in either dimension comes at the cost of losing the other. But in a balanced view, a person can both benefit from the material blessings of the world and achieve spiritual growth. In the following sections, we will explore practical strategies for achieving this balance.
Core exercise of this subchapter: “Question of the week
This week, every night before sleep, ask yourself this question and write the answer in one sentence: “What did I do today that, even if no one saw it and it brought me no reward, I would still be happy I did it?”
If on a given day you have no answer, write: “Today I did nothing for my true self.” But still write. At the end of the week, review your seven answers. Do you see a pattern? In what area were these activities mostly (helping others, creativity, learning, worship)? This pattern is an indication of your “source of meaning.”
Sensory exercise: Sitting in the posture of “saying no to the world”
For 5 minutes, sit somewhere where there is no luxurious or decorative object in front of you (an empty room, or facing a wall). Place your hands on your knees, palms facing down (the posture of taking). Then mentally think of three things you have recently bought that you really did not need. Each time you think of one, turn your hand so that the palm faces upward (the posture of letting go). After 5 minutes, write: “Which of these three things was hardest to let go of? Why?”
For those in a hurry:
Three signs of being trapped in “hollow success”:
1. After reaching a big goal, instead of feeling happy, you immediately think of the next goal.
2. You often compare yourself to others and feel a sense of lack.
3. You do not enjoy deep human relationships and prefer to work alone.
Quick solution: Redefine success based on three qualitative indicators – “inner peace,” “quality of relationships,” “service to others” – and take one small action each day in each indicator.
For those who want to go deeper:
– Seligman, Martin. (2011). *Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well‑being*. (Persian translation by Hossein Zare, 2016). Arjmand Publications. (Chapters 4 & 7)
– Diener, Ed. (2009). *The Psychology of Happiness*. (Persian translation by Isa Jafari, 2018). Ravan Publications. (Chapter 6: Wealth and Happiness)
– Motahhari, Morteza. (2011). *Human and Faith*. Sadra Publications. (Discussion of “Good Life”)
– Naraghi, Mulla Ahmad. (2006). *The Ascension of Happiness*. Elmi Publications. (Part One: The Reality of Man and His Perfection)
Open question for this subchapter:
Now you tell me: Among all the things you have strived to obtain – degrees, jobs, cars, houses, the approval of others – which one, if taken away, would make you feel like “you have become nothing”? And which one, if taken away, would still allow you to say “I am”? What is the difference between these two categories?
