Introduction | The Man Who Had Everything, But Something Was Missing
A forty-year-old man sits at the dinner table. A good house, a new car, sufficient income, two healthy children, and a wife who loves him. From any angle you look, his life is a successful life.
But one night, in the silence of the room, he asks his wife: “Do you think if I didn’t wake up tomorrow, what would really change?”
His wife becomes worried. She says: “Why are you saying this? Don’t you have everything?”
The man pauses. He looks at all his possessions. And then, calmly, he says: “No… I don’t lack anything. But it’s as if something in my life is no longer flowing.”
This man is not depressed. He is not sad either. He just has a strange feeling: a feeling that life, from within, has become empty. Everything is in its place, but “life” itself, somewhere among all these things, has been lost.
What Is Emptiness and What Is It Not?
Before anything else, we must know that the “feeling of emptiness” is different from similar concepts.
– Emptiness is not depression. Depression is a clinical disorder accompanied by symptoms such as insomnia, loss of appetite, and lack of energy. But the feeling of emptiness can exist in a completely healthy person too.
– Emptiness is not sadness. Sadness is a specific feeling with a specific reason. But emptiness arrives without a specific reason.
– Emptiness is not fatigue. Fatigue is relieved by rest. But emptiness is not filled by rest.
– Emptiness is not loneliness. Loneliness means the absence of others. But emptiness can exist in the midst of a crowd too.
– Emptiness is not boredom. Boredom is a temporary state; emptiness is an existential state.
– Emptiness is not nihilism. Nihilism is a person’s judgment about the meaninglessness of the world; but emptiness is a person’s experience of losing their relation with life.
Someone may consider the world meaningless but not feel emptiness. And someone may believe in the meaning of life but feel emptiness due to the rupture of their relations.
So what is emptiness?
In this article, we define the feeling of emptiness as follows: the experience of losing one’s relation with life. Emptiness means that life continues, but the human presence in it has faded. It means everything is in its place, but the human being has distanced themselves from life.
A Dialogue with Perspectives | Each from an Angle
Let’s arrange a debate. This time, the psychiatrist, psychologist, sociologist, and philosopher speak about the feeling of emptiness.
The psychiatrist says: “The feeling of emptiness is usually a sign of a psychological disorder. Depression, anxiety, or personality disorders can create this feeling. Its treatment is medication and psychotherapy.”
The psychologist responds: “Not all feelings of emptiness are illness. Sometimes emptiness is a sign of unfulfilled needs. The need for belonging, the need for growth, or the need for meaning. If these needs are not met, the feeling of emptiness arrives.”
The sociologist enters the discussion: “The feeling of emptiness is the product of social disintegration. When social bonds weaken, when traditions fade, and when humans distance from each other, emptiness arrives.”
The philosopher says calmly: “You all point to contextual factors. But emptiness is ultimately a crisis of meaning. A human feels empty when they don’t know what they live for. This is an existential issue, not just psychological or social.”
Each of these perspectives says part of the truth. But what they all overlook is that emptiness is often the product of the rupture of humans’ fundamental relations.
Three Narratives of One Rupture | Why Do Humans Feel Empty?
A human usually feels empty when one of three things has happened in their life.
Narrative One: When the Goal Takes the Place of Meaning
The human is a goal-oriented being. But sometimes goals take the place of meaning. We reach small and big goals—acceptance, promotion, wealth, fame—but after reaching them, we feel that “was that all?”
A goal is a point of passage; meaning is an overall direction. When we think only about goals and neglect meaning, after reaching each goal, emptiness arrives.
Narrative Two: When the Means Takes the Place of the End
We took welfare as the goal, while welfare was a means. When the means becomes the goal, life itself is forgotten. Money, car, house, and position are all means for a better life. But when we make them the goal, after obtaining them, we still feel emptiness.
Narrative Three: When Speed Takes the Place of Presence
Modern life has become so fast that it has taken the opportunity for “presence” from us. We are running, but we don’t know where to. We are doing, but we don’t know for what. Speed has taken the place of depth. And when there is no depth, emptiness arrives.
But these three narratives are in fact different forms of one issue: the rupture of humans’ fundamental relations with life.
Scientific Findings | What Research Says
In psychology, the concept of “existential vacuum” was proposed by Viktor Frankl. He, who himself survived the Nazi camps, observed that many humans, even in suitable material conditions, suffer from “meaninglessness.” Frankl believed that this emptiness is not an illness, but a sign: a sign of the human need for meaning.
Contemporary research in positive psychology also shows that “meaning in life” is one of the strongest predictors of psychological well-being. People who find their lives meaningful experience less emptiness, even in difficult conditions.
In neuroscience, research shows that the human brain is designed for “meaningful experience.” When a person is engaged in activities that are meaningful to them, the brain’s reward system becomes more active. But when this meaning is lost, the brain reaches a kind of “shutdown state” accompanied by a feeling of emptiness.
In sociology, Emile Durkheim proposed the concept of “anomie” (normlessness). He showed that when social bonds weaken and collective norms fade, humans feel directionlessness and emptiness.
Analysis | Emptiness Is the Disintegration of Relations
The five-relation model can show how emptiness arises from the rupture of life’s fundamental relations:
– Relation with self: When a person is not at peace with themselves—at war with their body or in conflict with their mind—they feel empty. They may have everything but be alienated from themselves.
– Relation with others: When a person’s relationships become superficial and shallow, when they are lonely in a crowd, they feel empty. They may have thousands of followers but not a single real friend.
– Relation with the world: When a person doesn’t feel a connection with nature, work, or their culture, they feel empty. They may live in the best cities but be alienated from the world around them.
– Relation with time: When a person is always in a hurry, when they are never present in the moment, they feel empty. They may have enough money but not enough time.
– Relation with values: When a person doesn’t know what they live for, when they have no goal or direction, they feel empty. They may have everything but no reason to live.
Emptiness means harmony has been lost. It means one of these relations—or several of them—has gone out of balance. And when one relation goes out of balance, the whole life loses its color.
Conclusion | Emptiness, an Invitation to Return
The feeling of emptiness is not an enemy. It is a sign. A sign that something in our life has gone out of balance. A sign that one of our fundamental relations with self, others, the world, time, or values has been damaged.
Emptiness is an invitation to return. To return to self, to return to others, to return to the world, to return to time, and to return to values.
And perhaps the best response to emptiness is not to fill it, but to listen to it. Emptiness is the voice of life saying: “I am here. See me.”
Sources
- Frankl, Viktor. Man’s Search for Meaning. Translated by Nahzatollah Salehi. University of Tehran Press. pp. 60-85.
- Durkheim, Emile. Suicide. Translated by Nader Salarzadeh Amiri. Allameh Tabatabai University Press. pp. 80-110.
- Diener, Ed. Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth. Translated by Mehdi Qarachehdaghi. Roshd Publications. pp. 50-80.
- Nussbaum, Martha. Capabilities and Quality of Life. Translated by Hassan Fathi. Farhang Nashr-e No Publications. pp. 40-60.
- Layard, Richard. Happiness: Lessons from a New Science. Translated by Mehdi Qarachehdaghi. Roshd Publications. pp. 50-70.
- Schwartz, Barry. The Paradox of Choice. Translated by Sara Hosseini. Roshd Publications. pp. 65-90.
- Tabatabai, Seyed Javad. “Modernity and the Crisis of Meaning.” Social Science Quarterly. No. 4, 2005. pp. 23-45.
