It was night. He was sitting at his desk, staring at a letter that had been placed in the office mailbox a few days earlier. A termination notice. He had worked at that company for three years, but in the last six months, every project entrusted to him had failed. Until yesterday, he could still make excuses. Say “the software had issues,” say “the team didn’t cooperate,” say “the manager had unrealistic expectations.” But that night, there was no one to make excuses for him. His wife was asleep. The children were asleep. Only he and that piece of paper remained. For the first time, he dared to ask himself: “Maybe… the problem was me?” He took a deep breath. He didn’t know what would happen to him if he accepted the answer to that question. But something inside him said this acceptance could be the end of a suffering, not the beginning. He just didn’t know how to take the first step.
What Does Responsibility Mean and Why Should We Accept It?
Many of us think responsibility means a heavy burden on our shoulders. But the truth is, responsibility means accepting that you have an impact on the outcomes of your life. Psychologists call this belief “internal locus of control”[2]. People who believe their destiny is in their own hands have greater resilience and experience higher life satisfaction[3]. That boy, if he believes that “I was the one who put the trash there,” can learn that “I can also do the right thing next time.” Responsibility, contrary to its appearance, is liberating; because it takes you out of the victim role and brings you to a place where you can create change.
Three Realms of Responsibility; From Self to Society
Responsibility is not limited to personal matters. It has three levels that need to be understood. First, individual responsibility: taking care of physical and mental health, accepting mistakes, and striving for growth. If that boy tells himself “I was lazy,” he has taken the first step toward change[13]. Second, interpersonal responsibility: toward family, friends, and colleagues. Keeping promises, active listening, and avoiding verbal harm are all part of this level[15]. Third, social responsibility: participating in public affairs, protecting the environment, and striving to reduce inequalities[17]. Accepting responsibility on these three levels transforms life from an individual journey into a collective one, where each of your steps also affects others.
What Prevents Us from Accepting Responsibility?
The path to responsibility is full of obstacles. Sometimes we take refuge in fate and say “whatever happens, happens”[7]. Sometimes we fear failure and prefer to do nothing rather than risk making a mistake[21]. Sometimes we are used to blaming others and always looking for someone at fault[8]. Sometimes we feel “I am not good enough” and do not see ourselves as worthy of accepting responsibility[26]. That boy, fearing punishment, initially wanted to say “the neighbor himself brought the trash to the door.” But his father gave him the chance to tell the truth without fear. Removing the fear of judgment is the key to overcoming these obstacles.
Small Exercises to Strengthen a Big Muscle
Responsibility is like a muscle; it gets stronger with practice. Several practical strategies can help. First: set clear and measurable goals. For example, “Today I want to finish my work by 6 PM”[9]. Second: keep a “responsibility journal.” Every night, write down where you accepted responsibility and where you avoided it, and why. Third: practice “accepting mistakes.” The next time you make an error, say “Yes, that was my fault. Now how can I make it right?”[27]. Fourth: combine prayer and action simultaneously. First, ask God for success, then plan and take action[10]. Fifth: strengthen self-efficacy with small successes. Every day, complete one small task perfectly, such as tidying your desk. With each completion, the belief “I can do it” grows stronger. After a while, that boy would take the trash to the proper place himself, without anyone telling him.
When Responsibility Makes Society Sustainable
Responsibility does not only benefit ourselves. It is the cornerstone of a sustainable society. When every citizen accepts their responsibility, the cost of supervision and control in society decreases[38]. Social trust increases. The environment is better protected[39]. Inequalities are reduced[40]. The smallest responsible action, such as separating waste or paying taxes on time, has a huge effect on a collective scale. When that boy grew up, he understood that that small lesson turned him into a citizen who, in everything – driving, business, and relationships – placed the principle of “accepting responsibility” as his foundation. A responsible life is a purposeful life, in which every action has a meaning beyond itself.
Sources
[2] Rotter, J. (2013). The Concept of Internal Locus of Control. Tehran: University of Tehran Press, p. 45.
[3] Cohen, S. (2015). Social Support and Mental Health. Tehran: University of Tehran Press, p. 134.
[7] Sharifian, F. (2011). Trust in God and Action in Daily Life. Tehran: Arasbaran, p. 67.
[8] Farsijoo, A. (2013). Psychology of Communication. Tehran: Samt Publications, p. 145.
[9] Dahl, R. (2014). SMART Goal Setting. Tehran: Ney Publishing, p. 89.
[10] Naderi, F. (2016). Prayer and Its Psychological Effects. Tehran: Religious Research Publications, p. 56.
[13] Abedi, J. & Mohammadi, A. (2020). Investigating the Effect of Self-Awareness on Stress Adjustment. Quarterly of Modern Psychological Research, p. 45.
[15] Karami, A. & Ebrahimi, N. (2018). Social Capital in Close Relationships. Iranian Quarterly of Sociology, p. 67.
[17] Zarei, B. & Yazdi, S. (2021). Environmental Ethics. Journal of Bioethics, p. 56.
[21] Bandura, A. (2012). Theory of Self-Efficacy. Tehran: University of Tehran Press, p. 112.
[26] Mirzaei, F. & Nouri, H. (2022). Fundamental Values and Life Satisfaction. Quarterly of Positive Psychology, p. 67.
[27] Taghizadeh, R. & Falah, S. (2020). Strategies for Establishing Positive Habits. Journal of Behavioral Sciences, p. 45.
[38] Bagheri, J. (2018). Social Capital and Reduction of Transaction Costs. Quarterly of Economics and Development, p. 78.
[39] Mohammadi, S. & Rasouli, A. (2022). The Concept of Stewardship in Islamic Sources. Journal of Islamic Studies and Environment, p. 45.
[40] Heydari, F. (2017). Environmental Ethics and Intergenerational Commitment. Quarterly of Philosophy and Theology, p. 89.
